Category Archives: Expat Kids and Family

Rite of Passage

 

Rites of passage. What images does that phrase bring to mind? Masai warrior rituals? Debutante balls? Walkabouts? Bar mitzvahs? Uros Indian boys knitting hats so tightly that water won’t leak through? Menstruation? Graduation? Marriage?

We moved to Mazatlán four years ago. Since that time, Danny and I have attended church every Sunday. Same church each week. Same Mass each week. Same people we see there each week. Four years. I love Sunday Mass. Love to sing. Love communal prayer. Love the people we celebrate with each week.

During that time, we have gotten to know the priest. We greet the greeters: those women at the entrance handing out bulletins. We sit in the same pew, pretty much, every week, too. There are about three women who will sit in our pew and greet us. I like them. They help me feel human, not just gringa. There are lots of other people who will sit in our pew and act as if they’ve never seen us before, even though of course they have seen us every Sunday the past four years. And, there are loads of people who avoid sitting anywhere near us. Maybe they’re afraid we won’t speak Spanish, or know the rules, or…

Now, it’s a Catholic church, and anyone who knows Catholicism will tell you that good Catholics don’t fraternize at Sunday services (written tongue in cheek, but true). You come, you pray, you leave. No small talk. The priests basically have to order us to shake hands with the person beside us in the pew.

Well, a few weeks ago we had something going on in the morning, and we went to the Sunday evening service instead. Lo and behold, the altar guild lady asked me if I’d do the collection! Wow! A rite of passage! I had never been asked to take up the collection before. I was becoming a regular part of the parish after all!

But this was not “my” Mass. It was the evening Mass, which I rarely attend. It was a welcome invitation, for sure. Now, in the parish’s defense, I have made no effort to get involved in the church outside of Sunday Mass. My schedule right now doesn’t allow it, my preferences right now aren’t prioritizing it. There are people who attend our Mass that I know outside of church. They of course greet us.

Well, unwittingly this am, as Danny and I knelt in prayer before the service started, the altar guild/greeter lady at OUR service, our church, came to our pew, and asked us if we would be so kind as to take up the gifts! “Would you take up the wine, and your Mami take up the bread,” she asked Danny.

Wow! How cool is that!

As if that wasn’t cool enough, one of the “friendly” ladies sat down beside us. She actually KISSED me during the giving of the peace.

Four years, people, but we feel included. We have received our rite of passage.

I will say I attended church in Tokyo and in the US longer than we’ve been here, and was never ad-hoc included in this way.

Now the Episcopal Church, where Danny used to serve Mass every Sunday morning, and I was the greeter, that’s a different story… 🙂

 

Counterfeiting and Scalping, Teenage-Style 2012 (llegar de colado)

 

My parents met one night when they both crashed a wedding reception. Neither one of them had been invited to the party. Neither one of them even knew the people getting married!

They lived in small towns near each other, and told me that in the day it was common to show up to drink and dance whenever anyone nearby got married or had a party with a band. According to them, the hosts didn’t mind. They expected uninvited guests to “crash.”

They fell in love after meeting as uninvited guests, a love that lasted nearly 60 years.

Fast forward to four years ago, when we moved to Mazatlán from Kansas City. One of my son’s cultural adjustments was that early on he just could not bring himself to go to a party to which, in his words, he “wasn’t invited.” Which to him, a good US American, meant that the host of the party had not personally invited him. “But here in Mexico, baby, if your friend is invited, and the friend invites you, you are usually welcome if not expected to join.” No, he just couldn’t do it.

The day after such a party, his friends would say, “Hey, Danny, where were you last night? We missed you!” Sometimes even the host of the party would say it to him. So, he learned a more inclusive approach to party-going. He learned he usually didn’t need a personal or direct verbal invitation; friends are always welcome.

But, this “open invitation” approach to parties obviously can get out of hand, especially when kids attend a huge school, when they have a wide circle of friends, or, as with teenagers anywhere, “the word gets out” and there aren’t a lot of other parties that same night. Two weeks ago there was just such a “small” quinceañera to which 300 or so kids showed up! Parents, who pay the bills for the parties, wisely want to limit attendance. But how? It bucks cultural norms.

In order to bridge cultural norms and economic realities, the wrist bracelet was invented. Parents can say, “We are only paying for 100 people for your party. We’ll invite 20 of our friends, and you can invite 80.” Then the parent gives the kid 80 personalized party invitation bracelets to hand out. If you have a bracelet, you can enter the party. No bracelet, no dancing.

Seems clear enough to me.

Well, the other night I learned that kids COUNTERFEIT the bracelets! One of our son’s friends proudly showed me the pulsera he had purchased blank, and how he had taken a Sharpie and carefully and competently copied the personalized text so that he could get into the party. I of course dutifully scolded the kid, and threatened my son with what horrible things would become of him if he ever were to do such a thing. But, in the process I’ve learned that such counterfeiting, and even scalping, of party entrance bracelets is common these days.

The kids told me about a boy at school who has a whole counterfeiting operation. He goes to a party place and buys a bunch of the identical bracelets for that weekend’s party (bracelets come in all colors and many foil or reflective designs as well). He has a counterfeiting “kit” with 3 kinds of Sharpies plus Q-tips and alcohol to clean up any erroneous strokes that occur while making the fake bracelets. He sells the blank bracelets for 25 pesos (they must cost a few pesos at most at the shop, but hey, he delivers right to you at school). Buying a bracelet complete with the counterfeited markings costs 40 pesos (15 pesos for his copying prowess).

If you don’t want to participate in counterfeiting, you can buy a pulsera from someone who was “legally” invited to the party but can’t or doesn’t want to go. These “scalped” bracelets sell for 100 pesos. Who says young kids nowadays aren’t enterprising! Capitalism is alive and well among teenagers in Mazatlán.

Thank goodness that these bracelets didn’t exist in the 1940s. My parents may never have met, and I wouldn’t be here!

 

Visiting Mazatlán with Kids

Kids love Mazatlán! The list below should help whether you are traveling here on holiday or whether you live here and are wondering about something new and different to do with your kids during school break. The to-dos are organized alphabetically.

  • Aquarium and bird show: The aquarium in Mazatlán is a lot of fun. The most exciting thing at the aquarium is you can swim with the sharks! In addition to the indoor marine exhibits there are entertaining bird shows held on an outdoor covered stage. Aquarium staff do most of the rescue of marine animals and birds here in town, so we all very much appreciate you supporting this venue.
  • Batting cages: On Avenida del Mar, right next to the double yellow towers (Las Gavias), is a batting cage called, “Wild Pitch.” There is now also a second one up on Avenida de la Marina in the new Mazatlán Golf Center.
  • Beach day: Pick a beach, any beach. You can get chair side service and lots of vendors at a hotel beach. You can dine on fresh, affordable seafood in a palapa/thatched hut on Playa Pinos. Make sand castles, pick up sea shells and sea glass, play soccer or football, volleyball or catch … You name it, you can’t go wrong with kids and a beach.
  • Bicycling: Biking along the malecón/oceanside promenade is gorgeous, easy and fun! From Valentino’s to the Pedro Infante Monument is about 4 miles one-way, it’s of course a very level ride, and safely out of the traffic. It’s easiest to borrow a bike from friends or your hotel if you can. Kelly’s Bike Rental used to be near the malecón, but now he’s moved up towards the marina so is a bit harder for the tourist to reach. Kelly (Güero) has a terrific mountain bike trail/course where he will gladly take older teenagers. He has bikes to loan out as well.
  • Bird watching, hiking and picnicking: The lush Estero del Yugo nature preserve on the north end of town makes for a day of hiking and bird watching. Bring a picnic lunch, binoculars, and your camera.
  • Boogie board: Bring your own, or buy one at one of the many shops along Avenida del Mar or Av. Camarón Sábalo. It’s a whole lot of fun!
  • El Bosque/City Park: Located one block off the malecón, this park has a large pond with waterfowl, swing sets and climbing gyms, a small zoo, and a walking trail. There are play areas in small parks throughout the city, though I recommend you check their safety beforE letting your kids climb up and slide down.
  • Bowling: Space Bowling, up on the north end of town near Marina El Cid, has fun laser-light bowling at night, and makes for good refuge if you happen to be here during rainy season.
  • Boxing: Older teenagers and young adults may enjoy a night of boxing. Our boys love it, as you get up close and personal to the boxers. I imagine the ring card girls don’t hurt their eyes either 🙂 Held on Friday nights about once every month, downtown in the Cancha German Evers.
  • Catamaran: You can have one of the playeros take you and your family out for a cruise around the bay for very little cash. Watch the sea lions (Mazatlán is their southernmost point), cruise past Bird and Deer Islands, see the city from the sea. A boat ride is always fun. We also have sailboats, or you can go out on a party boat and enjoy music, dinner or sunset.
  • Climb the lighthouse: One of our very favorite family activities, we do this once a week. The climb only takes about 20 minutes, and the view from the top is gorgeous!
  • Dolphin, whale and sea lion watching Also one of our favorite activities! DEFINITELY do this if you are traveling here! You can read our blog post about this trip.
  • Fishermen: Sitting near the pangas/boats at Playa Norte beach in the morning, watching the fishermen bring in their boats, unload and sell their fish, can make for a very enjoyable morning for a family.
  • Fly a kite: Buy one anywhere, and spend a few hours flying it on the beach. Enjoy some ceviche, fresh fruit or turnovers/empanadas from a strolling vendor, and maybe some live music from a passing band.
  • Horseback riding: There is nothing like a family horseback ride on the beach, or through a forest of palm trees. Rent horses on the north end of town at Playa Bruja, or out on Stone Island.
  • Inline skating: That 4-mile malecón is calling your name! You and the family can of course walk it, or you can rent skates in Olas Altas at the Looney Bean coffee shop.
  • Island day: Spending a day at either Deer Island (one of the three islands in the bay) or Stone Island (it’s actually a peninsula) feels like going back in time to a simpler, more charming era. Pretend you’re shipwrecked, or that you own your own private piece of paradise. On Stone Island there are plenty of restaurants with lots of adult beverages; the beach is great for kids as the ocean is pretty calm. On Deer Island you can get a few things to eat or drink. You can get tours to either island that include banana boating, snorkeling or jet skiing; Stone Island tours often include horseback riding. Stone Island has an affordable water ferry (about US$3 round trip per person).
  • Kayaking: Rent a couple of kayaks on the beach in front of one of the hotels, and enjoy some terrific family time paddling in the bay.
  • Movies: Movie theaters in Mazatlán are MUCH more affordable ventures than they are north of the border. If you don’t speak Spanish, be sure to see a subtitled movie rather than one that’s dubbed. Cinepolis is in the Gran Plaza; Gaviotas is an older theater near Valentino’s in the Golden Zone; and the two Cinemexes are in the main part of town on Insurgentes Street.
  1. Cinépolis 
  2. Cinemas Gaviotas
  3. CinemexMaz
  4. CinemexToreo
  • Paint ball: For some weird reason, paint ball is called “Gotcha” in Mazatlecan Spanish. The nearest location is Master Gotcha located behind Casa Country in the Golden Zone. Closed on Tuesdays, check their Facebook page for specials.
  • Parasailing: Before I parasailed I never imagined I’d enjoy it as much as I did! It is amazingly fun and exciting! Book a trip on the beach in front of your hotel.
  • Port: Watch the workings of the port from the Mirador or the Old Observatory. Drive, walk or bike up Paseo del Centenario to either of these places, and you will be rewarded with incredible views of the city of Mazatlán and the workings of its port. See the loading and unloading at the docks, the boats of the largest shrimping fleet in the Americas, as well as the tuna fleet.
  • Sea turtles: Release baby sea turtles, or see their mothers lay eggs. Sea turtles come in to the beach to lay their eggs starting in late August or September every year. It is an amazing process to watch, but please don’t bother the nesting Moms! You can read a blog post about the sea turtles here. If you call the aquarium you and your kids may be able to participate in a release of baby sea turtles, which the kids also really love.
  • Skate park: Bring your skateboard, rip stick, BMX bike or inline skates, or just your eyes and good humor to watch the festivities. The Skate Park is next to the outdoor gym in Playa Norte. We did a blog post about it.
  • Snorkeling: Playa Norte has a sheltered beach, just south of the swim club and the outdoor gym, which has pretty interesting snorkeling: lots of colorful fish and sea glass. On Deer Island you can snorkel for octopus or scallops.
  • Surfing: Many kids would love to learn how to surf! In Mazatlán there are a few options: Mazatlán Surf Center, Jah Surf School, Puras Olas, or just do a web search.
  • Swimming: This would seem to be a no-brainer. In the pool, in the ocean, Mazatlán is a swimmers’ paradise. Something our family loves is, in the early morning, to go down to Playa Norte and watch the swim club swimmers do their ocean swims. Many are grandmas and grandpas and boy can they swim! In November each year the club does a Travesía, during which swimmers swim out to Deer Island!
  • Swim with the sharks: The aquarium offers this cool activity. There are plans to swim with dolphins, but as of this blog post that’s not yet an option. But swimming with sharks sounds so cool and dangerous (yet isn’t)!
  • Tide pools: One of the BEST activities ever, on the planet, for families with young children. Bring a book of tide pool life along with you, put on some water shoes, and take a walk when the tide is out along the beach south of Valentino’s. Starfish, crabs, tadpoles, sea urchins… Gotta love it!
  • Video arcade: Ok, I don’t like going on vacation to have the kids go to an arcade, but I do remember traveling to Prague and having my kid beg for laser tag, so it happens. The best video arcade that I know of is in the Gran Plaza shopping mall. There is also a small, “cooler” one for teenagers just north of Valentino’s, on the second level.
  • Water park: If the kids want more slide action than the hotel pool can provide, take them up to Mazagua, on the north end of town on the way to the Hotel Riu or Emerald Bay.
  • Zip line: Huana Coa gets incredibly high reviews on TripAdvisor. While we haven’t gone on this one, if your kids are into this, it sure sounds like fun.
In addition to the above year-round activities, there are also terrific seasonal events that you should try not to miss. These include:
  • Carnaval/Mardis Gras (a very family-oriented five days)
  • MotoWeek, a huge gathering of motorcycles from around the continent. Includes concerts, an expo and a huge parade.
  • ExpoCar, usually held in December, this is a car show and, I guess, drag racing event. Exhibitions, concerts, and lots of burning rubber.
  • La Frasca/Shrimping in the estuary A once-in-a-lifetime experience for families, occurs only during shrimping season. You will need a car or driver and to speak Spanish or have an interpreter or guide.
  • Day of the Dead, altars and callejoneada parade
  • Easter Week processions
  • AeroFest, usually held in November along the malecón
  • Revolution Day
  • Independence Day, especially “El Grito” the night before in the main Plaza downtown
  • Look for signs for special events such as Monster Truck shows, Lucha Libre, circuses (one going on somewhere in town at least once/month), carnavals/fairs (5-7 every year), NBA exposition games, etc….
  • There are also “cultural” events such as bullfighting (held occasionally) and cock fighting (held all the time at various venues). Look for signs or ask around when you are in town if you are interested.
I’ve only included things right here in town. If you have something I should add, please let me know. There are also loads of things to do outside the city—small pueblos to visit, the petroglyphs at Las Labradas… Those will have to be for another summary post. 🙂
Enjoy your holiday! Or, rest assured that the kids will go back to school, eventually, ja ja.

 

New Skate Park

We are soooo happy about the new skate park that was built late last year right on the beach in Playa Norte, accessible from the malecón. Built with federal funds and after lots of campaigning by the city’s young people, it is a MUCH-needed space for teenagers to gather, stay out of harm’s way, and get some exercise.

Every morning when we take our walk, we’re amazed that there are kids out there fooling around so early. They’re on BMX bikes, inline skates, as well as skate boards. They have their music blasting, and it’s terrific to see all those smiling faces and physically active kids!

We’ve been a bit worried that construction didn’t seem to include reinforcement of the underlying structure, which to us seems really weathered and rusted, but so far the structure seems stable and the park itself, with its ramps and jumps, seems highly successful.

The first major event we know about occurred when we were out of town: Urban Fest on December 17, with break dancers and graffiti artists as well as skateboarders. We heard the turnout was great; a wonderful kickoff to the new space!

One day last week when Danny was running he met a lady who told him that she and her three children had lived for 32 years in the abandoned beachfront building that is now under the new skate park! That space is open to the elements, frequently floods with the tide coming in, and as far as we know there is no running water or sewer nearby, so it must have been quite a tough life for her raising three children there. She makes her living by selling fresh coconuts, and fortunately she told Danny that her business is on the uptake now with the skate park there. The other good news is that, when the government kicked her out in order to build the skate park, they gave her land and a two-room house. Now she has much better living conditions as well as a better income. Sometimes things work out.

Anyway, this last week Friday we were eating at Puerto Azul on the malecón. We were psyched because in addition to the incredibly beautiful view and perfectly sunny day, there was great music coming from the skate park next door. A huge crowd gathered, and it felt like the vibra of the old, pre-economic crash Mazatlán that we miss so much! Luckily for us, that afternoon was the “Reyes de la Calle” skateboard tournament. We enjoyed an incredible show of skateboard and in-line skate tricks, as well as BMX bike acrobatics and spray paint artistry, while we ate our shrimp and fish. Mazatlecos placed first and third in the competition, and there were about 100 kids who participated.

Below are two videos, made by young Mazatlecos, about the skate park. Enjoy! ¡Viva el Skate Park Mazatlán!

Thanksgiving Day Gratitude for Danny’s School

This Thanksgiving, I am so very grateful for Danny’s school. There are downsides, as with anything, such as the large class size. But the upsides!

First came the study of world religions. Yes, this would seem to be tailor-made to make this mother happy. 🙂  A Xaverian Catholic school that teaches the major world religions. As I have helped Danny with his homework, we have discovered what I feel are a few inaccuracies or biases, but hey, he’s got me to help correct those 🙂 And, amazingly wonderfully, the teacher has been open to hearing what Danny has to say!

But today’s homework for his “ethics and values” class was a home run for the whole family! If you have any interest in Mexico at all, or in legal systems in general, you have GOT to see this movie! Called “Presunto Culpable,” it came out back in 2010, but somehow we missed it.

It is a documentary presented by a team of Mexican lawyers, about the Mexican system of “guilty until proven innocent.” The movie follows the story of one young man wrongly convicted of murder, and the saga he goes through to try and prove his innocence. The statistics that are presented in the movie are astounding, including the percentages of verdicts that are convictions (95%) and the percentage of convictions with no physical evidence (92%).

As if the movie weren’t powerful and thought-provoking on its own, the kids were put into pairs and told to summarize the movie in one-half to one page. They were then asked a series of really deep, reflective, valuable questions about democracy, human rights, and the personal traits that make for success. As with any film, I found those who take issue with it. Slant Magazine goes so far as to call it unethical.

Many of you who read this are dynamite educators. Bless your souls. I am very, very grateful this holiday that my son is benefitting from some dynamite teachers and a powerful curriculum, and grateful that throughout his life, each of his schools has benefitted him in wonderful ways! Thanks to the teachers who inspire our children!!!!!